A Thankful Heart

Yeah? Well, keep the hope alive - they say in rehab you gotta change one thing and that's everything. LOL. They will teach you how to better understand yourself and greatly change your quality of life. I think I used to ignore who I was and very few of the people I was around really genuinely gave a f*ck about me ....most just wanted to see what I had. U feel me? They weren't thinkin' about me, or my kidz, or what mattered most. We'd get high and funny as sh*t be talkin' about how we wanted $, or jobs, or a great bf/gf, or how someone got their ass beat, but it was a deflection from what we really felt when we weren't even sure. I have faith in you. The question is, do you have faith in you? It was crazy just jumping on an airplane and leaving. My comfort zone was in Cali. Today it snowed. I work in a rehab (lucky enough not to get put on paper) and it's funny all the people that don't wanna be there. I'm an outsider looking in and I don't wanna be in Missouri....some little town with conflicting viewpoints....but I know that if I build up strength from the inside out, knowledge and keep working I can take myself wherever I wanna go, where the drugs couldn't. You know? I'm 31 now. I was 27/28 when I left CA but life is at least manageable now........I don't have to look over my shoulder and wonder if someone is gonna break into my place and steal my sh*t; And, I can try to be a decent human being. We're products of our environment. We do what we know. I never want my kids to see their mom strung out, living on the fringe of society......I want to at least try to hand them their chance at life and doing whatever their God - given talent may be......I don't even know you, Bro, but we have this tiny thing in common that can be so huge when it comes to taking everything.........whatever is most valuable to us in the whole wide world. I lost the love of my life, but he and I have a beautiful son. Okay. Peace!